Home Body with Lauren Schreiber Sasaki
Lauren at home with her family. Photo by Wild Eyed Photography
Welcome to the sixth instalment of Home Body, an interview series where we talk to inspiring folks staying home during the lock down. Find the first interview here, second interview here , third interview here , fourth interview here and fifth interview here.
I met Lauren many years ago in a beloved local cookbook shop in Toronto (RIP Good Egg). She is a lovely and has and infectious effervescent personality that can't help getting you excited about home cooking. Watching from afar seeing this year take its toll on families navigating home school, birthdays, working from home and while in lock down it’s been incredible to witness Lauren’s honesty, strength and perseverance during this time. To see her spiritual community come together and to share her weekly rituals online seems to offer a grounding presence during these isolating days. I reached out to Lauren to learn more about her spiritual practice and community has helped out during lock down.
Lauren is the Jewish Life programmer at The Miles Nadal Jewish Community Center in downtown Toronto, and the coordinator of our Jewish& program, which seeks to explicitly gather and support multi-faith, multicultural and multiethnic Jewish folks and families. She grew up an Ashkenazi (Eastern European) Jew in Montreal and her partner is from a Japanese & Irish Catholic home in Ottawa. Their kids are being raised “Jewish&” in Toronto; where they think it is important they be exposed to and immersed in all their ancestries.
How have you been feeling these past months while being in lock down?
Lockdown has been a mixed blessing. It comes with incredible challenges - being at home with two young kids and a partner, all four of us trying to learn and work with limited resources, limited space, and limited patience. We miss our families who live outside of Toronto, and we miss gathering with our friends. On the other hand, pre-pandemic we were all so overscheduled and would never have been able to have this amount of time together. I remember at this time last year, wishing for the world to stop for a second so I could catch my breath (sorry! I don’t think this was on me). Slowing down and having an opportunity to get to know my now school-aged kids more deeply has been a gift I would not otherwise have had. As well, my partner and I used to bicker primarily about division of labour issues. Having our respective professional and domestic workloads becoming largely visible has made any inequities obvious and has allowed us to readjust accordingly. I think we have gained an appreciation for pieces the other person holds in our household, and our family dynamic and partnership is much stronger for it.
How has your relationship with spirituality and tradition helped you through this time?
I am so grateful to have Judaism as a guide during this time; it has helped me in innumerable ways. I didn’t grow up with a Shabbes (or Shabbat, the Jewish day of rest, from sundown Friday until 3 stars are visible in the sky Saturday night) practice, but have slowly developed one over the past few years. During lockdown, I often would not know what day it was except in relation to making challah (a braided egg bread) Friday mornings, as well as lighting candles and reflecting on the previous week on Friday nights. While my family doesn’t practice a full tech Shabbes (Friday nights are movie nights), we try to take nature walks on Saturday afternoon and get away from the screens we are glued to all week. Shabbes is a grounding practice for reflection, connection and mindfulness.
What has this time taught you?
I have been with my family pretty well continuously for the entirety of COVID. I have learned - about myself - that the way I recharge my batteries is to be alone, especially in my own home. To putter, tidy, and move between things I have to do and things I want to do with breathing room is a necessity for me. It is also an impossibility right now. I take it where I can get it, in 45-minute increments here and there, when my partner can spell me off and take the kids out. It is not enough, but it is something. In the summertime, when friends would leave town to go to cottages, I would ask to spend 24 hours at their homes as a respite. It was a manageable amount of time for my partner to hold down the fort, and even if I was working, working in solitude made a big difference.
I have also learned what a profound difference greenspace can make to one’s mental health.
What are the things you miss most about pre-covid life?
Childcare. Hosting meals. My parents. My friends. My colleagues. Childcare. Swimming. Eating in restaurants. Being in other people’s homes. Being able to plan ahead. Childcare.
a Shabbat dinner prepared by Lauren
Has your self care changed during this time?
My self-care has looked like meeting myself where I am, and communicating my needs whenever possible. I try to be authentic and vulnerable with my friends, friends, colleagues and community, and hope that sharing my struggles will encourage other people to do so. I haven’t been great at accepting help in the past, and as a result of being so forthcoming I’ve had to learn to accept support when offered. At some points during COVID, I wasn’t able to work and had to take a leave. At some points, I was able to not only work but take on extra-curricular projects. I am trying to check in with myself regularly, be honest with myself about my capacity, and recognize that taking things off my plate when I need to isn’t failure.
What have you been doing to feel good during this time?
I have used this time to do more Jewish learning and connecting online. While some folks were getting pandemic puppies, I’ve been studying Yiddish and taking classes on Ashkenazi culture. YIVO offers an amazing free asynchronous program about the Ashkenazi kitchen, and I have been learning about diverse Jewish food expressions through The Wandering Chew. Jewish& hosts monthly workshops that showcase dishes from households blending Jewish and other heritages. At home, I have been trying my hands at lots of ancestral food that I grew up eating but never considered making for myself, like Montreal bagels and knishes and chopped liver. I’m more comfortable expressing my Jewish identity through culture (language, food, art, music) than through religion, and this learning has done so much to deepen my connections and bolster my confidence. I have been feeling very much the Balabusta (Yiddish for pro-homemaker)!
Do you have any favourite products, rituals or recipes you’re loving these days?
I love this question! I have gotten really into marking time with Rosh Chodesh, a “holiday” celebrating the start of Jewish months. For Rosh Chodesh, our Jewish& community gathers on zoom around the start of each month to connect, check-in, and talk about the month upcoming. Each Jewish month has a certain flavour; themes that are present in our holidays and liturgy, but also themes that connect us to seasons and reminds us that Judaism is very much a land-based practice. Exploring these themes at the top of the month feels a bit like watching a preview before the movie; I find myself noticing themes that come up as the month rolls out, and it reminds me I am exactly where I am meant to be. One of my favourite teachers is @sederplateproject, who shares a monthly seder or ceremonial plate with items representing the themes of each month. Having a physical example of the ideas you are discussing makes it them all the more tangible. This practice keeps me present, connected to my community, and allow me to set intentions monthly. In a pandemic, where time tends to lose meaning, learning to keep time Jewishly has been an amazing addition to my toolbox.
To find our more about Lauren and her work visit @jewish.and / Jewish&
Also check out their upcoming event blending Jewish and Italian cooking with food historian Sarah Livingston